there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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