My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
