take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
