I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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