Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
