awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
