I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
