Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
