Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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