I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
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I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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