we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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