is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
