even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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