There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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