I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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