She is in my trunk
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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