Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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