your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
