Even water is tasting like jack daniels
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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