i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
