Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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