I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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