how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
