This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
