haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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