good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize