why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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