from now on my penis is your penis
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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