no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
