It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
