So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
