Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Be still, my beating vagina.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
