ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
