just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
