dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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