watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
