why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
