Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
