I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
