I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
