I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
