You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize