Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
