I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
