he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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