she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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