i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
