I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
