Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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