put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
