He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
