He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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