windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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