We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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