She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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