I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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