Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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