pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this boner is exhausting
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
