He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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