I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
