nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.