She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
