I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?