idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
